How to Replace 99 Fence Posts: A Brief and Comprehensive Guide
1. Spend 35 minutes trying to remove fencing from post without cutting fence wire
2. Concede defeat, cut the fencing at the post attachment points
3. Dodge falling fence post (which has rotted out and is now free of support)
4. Spend 35 minutes trying to dig the remaining post from the ground; use shovel, hand trowel and hands, lay on stomach to get deep enough into hole.
5. Finally free bottom half of rotted out fence post.
6. Ask yourself why you agreed to this task
7. Put metal fence post into hole, back fill laboriously created hole so metal post will be high enough reach fence top.
8. Use a level to make sure post is perfectly straight
9. Repeat 4 times as the post shifts around
10. Pour ~12.5lb of quikrete into the hole, poor in 500ml of water, let set for 30-40 minutes
11. Realize you put more than 12.5lb of quikrete in last post hole so you will be short on the next hole. Consider implications for next hole. Decide to live dangerously………
12. Repeat for the entire day
13. Go home, look in mirror, appraise sunburn.
14. Return next day to shovel soil to level off each post hole
15. Use heavy gage wire to attach fence to metal posts
16. Damage nerve endings in fingers by repeated twisting of heavy gage wire
17. Let the universe know that “living dangerously” did not mean endangering your hands
18. Relish the sweet victory of a complete task….
19. Note all of the wooden fence posts still in the ground…… that can wait until next year because they haven’t rotted out
20. Relive sweet moment of victory.
